Working through issues of sexual abuse is a lifelong journey and commitment on the part of the man. It is not a linear process. Generally, men who have been sexually abused as children will seek help once they experienced a level of pain that has become overwhelming. This may look like but is not limited to; out of control sexually addictive behavior, severe or persistent confusion of sexual orientation, inability to perform sexually with an intimate partner, the terror of deep relationships with either sex, and an overwhelming sense of shame around one’s masculinity. Treatment can only begin with the area the man is most willing to work on. The essence of recovery is restoring the man with a more accurate perception of self. The restoration does not take place intellectually. The man must first become aware that he may be operating under false beliefs about himself but next, he will have to actively challenge those false beliefs once out in the real world.
Recovery is possible.
I’d recommend reading an article published in the Journal of Traumatic Stress by David Lisak (who he himself was sexually abused and now shares it openly) titled, The Psychological Impact of Sexual Abuse: Content Analysis of Interview with Male Survivors. Many men who have recently become aware of their past history of sexual abuse will relate to the words in this published article.
Not all men will experience these exact consequences. Every man is different and may experience or relate with one or some of the items below.
- Emasculated – they feel somehow inadequate as a man
- Effeminate – they embody effeminate behaviors simply because they are so ashamed of themselves as men & feel ashamed embodying male roles
- Sexuality Issues – often severe sexual orientation confusion exists, impotence & premature ejaculation & sexually addictive behaviors (including aviodance of sex)
- Isolation & loneliness – being in relationships of any types becomes difficult and almost unbearable
