Why then do many men remain lonely and isolated? In many instances the choice to remain alone and isolated acts as a protection device/vehicle for the man. The individual may believe (even if unconsciously) that for whatever reason they are fundamentally flawed, unworthy, or unlovable. The same men are often the ones who will do anything for other family members, friends, or acquaintances. They tend to see others much differently than they see themselves. It may be more difficult for them to do for themselves what they would do for others. They generally are not men who feel uncomfortable in social situations.
Treatment for the man does eventually involve making efforts to reach out to break free from the loneliness. However, if their perceived feelings and beliefs about themselves are not addressed little will change. If a man feels fundamentally unlovable it does not matter how many individuals are around him he will feel lonely. Conversely, feeling unlovable or unworthy makes taking action to reach out very difficult.
It is not always easy to take the effort to change behaviour but here are some tips that men can try.
- Find a therapist to discuss the issue with
- Find a local men’s group
- Make an appointment with your family physician and ask about men’s support groups
- Visit a worship service of the faith tradition of your youth
- Open up to one trusted friend
- Open up to one trusted family member
